


Lock

by HappyHour



Category: The Transformers (Cartoon Generation One)
Genre: Alcohol, Date Rape, Isolation, M/M, Rape Aftermath, Rape Recovery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-28
Updated: 2016-10-15
Packaged: 2018-08-11 15:15:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 7
Words: 12,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7897636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HappyHour/pseuds/HappyHour
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes waking up in the same place that you went to sleep is enough to make you come to a whole different reality where you can't trust anyone anymore. Trailbreaker, betrayed by someone he doesn't know among the Autobots, realizes that he doesn't have a lot of trust to give to others.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Trailbreaker groaned as he came online. The room was dark and he realized he was recharging on top of some boxes. Not the most comfortable bedding he had been on, not the most uncomfortable. It took him few moments to piece together why he was there. There had been a fight with the Decepticons which they won, then celebration and he had gone to recharge in a storage room instead of being interrupted at the general sleeping quarters when everyone else filed in after the fight.

Trailbreaker felt a bit sore, stretching out his arms to work out the kinks from sleeping on something so uncomfortable. He checked his readouts as waiting for the soreness to leave, seeing that after the fight and party he was low on energon. He needed to head to Ratchet for a booster on top of his usual oversized rations.

As his own body started to feel normal, Trailbreaker felt a dull ache elsewhere. Somewhere where he wasn't supposed to ache. Trailbreaker stifled any noise coming out of him, suddenly feeling afraid and vulnerable. And worst of all, violated.

He found a sturdy box and sat on it, his legs splayed wide as he put his hands between them, in front of his interface array. He waited for the soreness of his body to fully go away, focusing on the ache in his valve as he tried to recall last night. He hadn't planned to interface, he hadn't even interfaced in a while nor was he really wanting to interface anyone in the group. But all he recalled was the fight, the party, and him making the decision to recharge, going alone. He had felt tired but that was all that he had felt.

"Okay, you can do this." Trailbreaker muttered low to himself. But just before he opened his valve covers, he cursed himself, jumped off the box and locked the doors, something he should have done before sitting on that box.

And apparently it was something he should have done before recharging. But nothing like this had happened before, he hadn't heard of it happening to anyone else.

The question of "why me?" hit him as he sat on the box again and opened his valve cover.

He couldn't see anything at the angle he was at. There was no mirror in the storage room and he didn't want to start inspect his valve in the wash racks for anyone else to see.

It stung when he rubbed his finger on the dry lips of his valve. That wasn't right. He looked at his fingers but saw no pink energon on them or any wetness. He didn't want to dwell on the thought of already-healed micro-fissures causing the pain and put his fingers back there, rubbing on spots where he didn't hurt to get some lubricant going. He didn't feel aroused by his ministrations, he could feel his own panic growing as he tried to put his thoughts aside while trying to find evidence of something.

He didn't wait as long as he usually did when prepping himself from cold. The moment the stinging was bearable, he put a finger up his valve.

Nothing felt painful aside from the ache that was still present. The finger wasn't adding anything to the pain. He moved it around and shoved it as deep as he could, curling it slightly before drawing it out.

There was no energon pink on his finger, which was a plus. He could see clear lubricant from himself on his finger, which was to be expected, without any slightest hint of pink tint, a plus. But all that he could look at on his finger were the bright blue streaks of transfluid.

He snapped out of the trance after few minutes. He couldn't remember anything. All he knew was that he hadn't wanted to interface. Not this week or this month. And certainly not after the fight. But he didn't know what happened. He was no stranger to fantasizing about few of the crew, but he hadn't had that much desire to even try to ask them and risk what they had already.

Trailbreaker shut his valve cover and went off the box. No trace of lubricant was on it. He looked at where he had slept but he didn't see any fluids there. Nothing really made sense for him. With a cursory check on his array he didn't see any evidence of his self-examination from before except his stained hand.

Trailbreaker unlocked the door and did a mental map of the Ark. The wash racks were close by. He headed out and made a beeline for them but at an even pace. He didn't want to draw attention to himself, to his probably disheveled state and his stained hand. Even though he was taller than the average Autobot, he was often overlooked, and he was relying on that right now.

He got in the wash racks, having passed Jazz and Gears on the way, neither having paid him any particular attention which he was grateful for, only the general greeting as they passed each others in the hallway. He quickly looked around, saw that Sunstreaker was already there and had taken over the most private of the stalls. But Trailbreaker knew of another he could use and headed in that one and turned on the solvent.

As Trailbreaker only had the thought to get into a stall occupying him, the ramifications of what happened to him suddenly crashed on him, and he collapsed down in the stall. Loudly. He froze as he realized what he did and he heard a stall door open, but it was thankfully not the door to his stall.

"Hey, you okay?" Sunstreaker called, but hadn't left his stall.

"I'm okay." Trailbreaker said. "Just tired, that's all."

"Oh, hello Trailbreaker." Sunstreaker said. "Heard from Sides that you saved his bacon in the fight yesterday." And with that his stall door closed. That was Sunstreaker's way of saying thanks, Trailbreaker was just relieved that he hadn't tried to check up on him, probably afraid he would ruin his finish or whatever he was doing to himself at the moment.

Trailbreaker shivered silently as he waited for the solvent to warm up as he let it run between his fingers, cleaning them of the stain of the transfluid and the lubricants. Once it was clean enough he silently opened his valve covers and let it spray on his valve, hoping to get all of it out of him. It stung but he kept his mouth tightly closed so that Sunstreaker wouldn't notice anything and ask questions.

After some time he gave up on cleaning his valve and let the solvent run over his body before letting it dry. He went out of the stall and looked at himself in the mirror.

He just saw himself. As he usually looked like. He smiled at his reflection and it looked like his usual smile. He didn't really know what he had expected when looking at the mirror. Had he expected to see dents? Stains? But everything looked normal. Even though he felt far from it. He wasn't even hurt from the fight, just tired. That reminded him that he needed to see Ratchet for some extra ration with whatever Ratchet felt that Trailbreaker needed more of.

Sunstreaker wasn't done when Trailbreaker left. Which was probably for the best, he might have seen him making faces in the mirror. Trailbreaker just went out.

He walked slowly, ready to explain it as being just low on energon if someone asked. But it gave him more time to think. He didn't want to run on autopilot right now as going to the medbay and see Ratchet for a short checkup and extra rations. The Ark felt like it should be. If the Decepticons had crashed the party someone would have called him for help, the defense-slash-forcefield specialist. Which meant that it wasn't a Decepticon that did this to him. Which meant that he had interfaced with an Autobot, couldn't remember it, and felt dirty because of it. But he didn't know who it was. Or why. Bumblebee just smiled in his usual friendly manner as he passed Trailbreaker. As Trailbreaker went through one of the smaller common rooms Mirage and Cliffjumper didn't even look up as they were chatting about the fight and what had happened in it. They had been on the other side of the battlefield so Trailbreaker couldn't add anything to the conversation if he even wanted to. Trailbreaker saw Hound nearby and as their eyes met Hound smiled and approached Trailbreaker for a chat until Beachcomber called to him. Hound smiled apologetically as he turned his attention to Beachcomber. Trailbreaker didn't even slow down, only waved as he passed the two.

Ratchet was in the medbay, tending to Tracks who seemed to have one of his wings a bit askew.

"What happened to you?" Trailbreaker asked smiling, surprised at just how easy it was. Smile, make small talk. Pretend. He wondered what Hound wanted to say to him and if it would be as easy as this.

"Sideswipe thought I was cheating and he was overcharged enough to take it to another level." Tracks chuckled, only to get a light smack on his back from Ratchet.

"Yeah, and if you hadn't been actually cheating then this wouldn't have happened." Ratchet said and jerked the wing upwards to its proper position, getting a cry of pain from Tracks.

"No proof man." Tracks chuckled then as he tested the wing's dexterity. "Not my fault you lost that large sweet pot. And besides, Smokescreen won it all."

"So what brings you here Trailbreaker?" Ratchet said as he motioned to Trailbreaker to take a seat and went over to him. "Just the regular pick-me-up?" He asked.

"Yeah." Trailbreaker said and eyed Tracks who was moving his wings, occasionally wincing as he seemed to cross some wires wrong as trying to get his usual range of motion out of it.

"Pressure is lower than I would want, slightly anemic." Ratchet said as he ran his scanner over Trailbreaker's chest. "Should have come to me before you hit the wash racks. Slept on the floor again?" He asked.

"Yeah." Trailbreaker answered. "Picked a dusty room this time to be away from all the noise." He followed the scanner, trying to look at the readout of it but what he could see of it he couldn't understand it. But Ratchet's normal scowl didn't change a bit as he turned off the scanner and went to a dispenser.

"This planet is full of dust, way too much minerals in the air. As for you, you just have a regular combat fatigue." Ratchet said as he filled a cube with something extra from his specialized dispenser. "No field duty for you today, meetings allowed, even though Prowl might be in control of them. Get at least quarter of your regular rations immediately after this cube."

"Got it Ratchet." Trailbreaker smiled and accepted the cube. "Am I free to go?" He asked.

"Yes. Tracks, you stay just right where you are, I'm not finished with you yet." Ratchet swiftly turned around to address his previous patient. "Don't even think that I didn't notice that limp when you walked your sorry excuse of an aft here."

Trailbreaker didn't want to hear much more of Ratchet ranting so he swiftly downed the contents of the cube, nasty tasting but strangely filling. He sat on one of the berths, drinking slowly from the cube as he looked at Ratchet ignoring him and tending to Track's leg struts. Apparently the fight with the Decepticons and that bar brawl had done a number on him. Ratchet didn't shoo Trailbreaker away, apparently thinking that Tracks condition didn't really warrant an automatic confidentiality.

It left Trailbreaker alone with his own thoughts. Tracks, despite being attacked, didn't get any sympathy from Ratchet. But then again if he had been cheating then he would have deserved it. Trailbreaker wondered what he did to deserve what was done to him. He had forgotten to lock the doors. There were some who had gotten injured in the fight with the Decepticons and would have been okay if Trailbreaker had turned left instead of right during the fight.

And no one had noticed Trailbreaker when he had left from the storage room and to the wash racks, nor when he left the wash racks and made his way to the medbay. Ratchet had noticed Tracks' limp and was now tending to Tracks because of it, and according to his muttering the problem was more serious than Tracks had thought.

But Trailbreaker didn't limp. The ache wasn't as intense as it was when he was waking up, probably thanks to the cube he had gotten from Ratchet. He liked to put in some painkillers in the mixture when the patient wasn't on duty. Maybe that was enough. _"Have some painkillers, call me in the morning if its still there."_

Or maybe Ratchet knew exactly what was going on with him and just assumed everything was okay, that it was just a slightly rougher than usual interface. Trailbreaker suddenly had the visual image of Ratchet hovering over him, stroking his chest at first until the hands went lower and lower until they came to rest just over his valve cover. Was it possible? The thought did nothing to arouse him, the mere possibility that Ratchet could have done this to him filled him with horror, unseen as Ratchet was taking a small welder to some previously unseen injury in Tracks' leg.

Trailbreaker didn't want to stay in the medbay any longer. He downed the contents of the cube in one big gulp, put it aside silently and left. Neither Ratchet nor Tracks noticed his departure.

Everyone that Trailbreaker passed became a subject to his imagination. He had no idea whom he had interfaced with last night. He couldn't picture anyone who would have either wanted to interface with him or done something like this to him. And when there was no one to point fingers to, to suspect or to accuse, everyone became suspect.

His comms pinged, reminding him of a meeting he would have to attend, a second debrief into the fight yesterday to discuss tactics. The timestamp of when the message was sent was earlier than now, and Trailbreaker had a suspicion that it had something to do with the fact that Ratchet somehow managed to isolate the medbay so that only messages of high importance got through.

But it was still some time before that debrief would start. And with nothing to really occupy him, Trailbreaker only knew of one thing he could do. Follow Ratchet's orders and have some of his regular energon rations. He walked to the rec room of the Ark, passing Powerglide and Warpath on the way, both of which seemed to be in some heated discussion about some human gathering that was happening somewhere in Europe. Trailbreaker didn't care right now. He was just focused on getting from point A to point B.

The rec room was packed. Apparently several Autobots had also gotten some time off after the fight. Some were missing, probably on some patrol or not. The Aerialbots were having a row in 'their' corner of the room, while the regular crew were huddling over the latest episode of 'As the Kitchen Sinks'. Trailbreaker, didn't care about that piece of human culture at the moment. He just got his ration and found an empty table that was in the corner of the room. He looked over the room, trying to think just who could have done it to him. But he couldn't come up with any answer. No Autobot seemed to be mean enough to do something like that, to follow someone and -

He took a large gulp of energon as he drowned that thought, nearly having it backflow out the same way. He did his best not to react to the unpleasant sensation that threatened to multiply thousandfold. Just as he recovered he was startled as Sunstreaker sat down at the same table as he did.

"Hey Trailbreaker, didn't notice you leave the wash racks." Sunstreaker said, positively gleaming from whatever finish he had meticulously put on himself. "Still beat?"

It took Trailbreaker few moments to realize what Sunstreaker was talking about. "No no, I went to Ratchet and he gave me some extra rations. Feeling much better now, thank you." Trailbreaker smiled. If Sunstreaker noticed something artificial about that smile, he didn't show it.

"Good to know." Sunstreaker said and took a sip.

Trailbreaker took his own careful sip and looked at the broadcast screen. But it was too far away to make anything out of it. He didn't see anything or hear anything. He glanced at Sunstreaker who was just bot-watching in the crowd, his eyes looking over the room.

"So, what happened last night?" Trailbreaker smiled awkwardly, wondering if this was too much. If it had been Sunstreaker that had fragged him but he had no memories of it, then would he really get a straight answer? Would he get an answer to begin with?

"Sideswipe's a sore loser." Sunstreaker said. "Tracks was cheating, Sideswipe discovered it and the whole place erupted in chaos. I would have been watching from the sidelines if Air Raid hadn't decided to drag me into it."

Trailbreaker looked around the rec room. Either Sunstreaker was exaggerating a bit or things got cleaned up quickly after that fight. "So, where is Sideswipe?" He had noticed that Sideswipe was not around, which might have been why Sunstreaker had decided to sit down next to him.

"The brig." Sunstreaker said. "Prowl thought he went too far, I think so too. It took long enough to get all the dents evened out in my chassis."

"I saw Tracks, it didn't look it was that bad." Trailbreaker chuckled. 

"Like I said, Prowl decided he had some stake in the whole brawl." Sunstreaker grunted, then perked up when Sideswipe came into the rec room, strutting like nothing had happened and he was still riding the afterglow of yesterday's battle. Sunstreaker quickly looked at the seating arrangement of the table, and noticed that when Sideswipe would come in, he and Sunstreaker would effectively box him in. The sudden nauseating feeling of maybe getting trapped got to Trailbreaker, who quickly stood up, still with a fake smile.

"I'll leave you two to it then." He smiled. "I got a debrief to be at and I better show up before Prowl throws me in the brig." Trailbreaker laughed and stepped away, finishing his cube in a big gulp and fought the urge to purge.


	2. Chapter 2

It was a bit strange to realize just how much of one's daily routine was something one did automatically. Trailbreaker got to know just how much of his life was running on autopilot. He answered when asked of, he spoke when spoken to, he recollected events and happenings to the best of his ability.

He didn't have to stop and think for most of the time. And not thinking was something he very much wanted to do. It let him calm down, to recover from what happened. And the best of all he didn't have to think about the others as well.

The debrief carried on normally and without incident. Trailbreaker chipped in when he was asked for, he cut in when the others were saying something erroneous, most of the time mistakenly. Everything was running on Automatic.

It wasn't until he got back into the rec room that he stopped. It was part of his routine after a hard fight. He didn't have any patrols because of Ratchet's orders, he didn't have any monitor duty as well because Ratchet's words were al-encompassing and powerful and extended far enough to affect the regular scheduling.

"Trailbreaker!" Hound called, snapping Trailbreaker out of his trance. Trailbreaker looked over and for a moment wondered if his smile appeared too forced. But Hound's own smile didn't falter, he didn't freeze and it didn't look like he saw anything out of the ordinary. He saw the same Trailbreaker that Trailbreaker had seen in the mirror earlier today.

Trailbreaker kept smiling and waved back as he went over to Hound, picking a seat near the edge to avoid being boxed in, which almost happened with the twins earlier today.

"So, what did the brass have to say about yesterday?" Hound asked, holding his own small cube of mid-grade while Trailbreaker was empty handed. It was a bit odd to think about it, but Trailbreaker realized that he didn't seem to have much of a thirst for energon right now.

"Just the usual." Trailbreaker shrugged. "They don't know what the Decepticons were doing there other than stealing energy for their energon production. No sign of any big plans or anything like that." Trailbreaker's hand twitched a bit as the muscle memory of his body commanded that the routine was to be sipping on energon, energon that Trailbreaker forgot to get because Hound had wanted his attention and Trailbreaker didn't want to appear odd. Not now. Not after what happened.

"That's probably a good thing." Hound mirrored Trailbreaker's shrug. "I get the word down the wire from Mirage but Jazz is now all tense because there is nothing for him or his spec-ops agents to do while the Decepticons are laying low."

"I wouldn't call the fight yesterday laying low." Trailbreaker chuckled. "But I know what you're talking about. And remind me to talk to Jazz about a Mirage-shaped hole leaking intel to the regular soldiers." He said as he leaned forwards with his hands under his chin and smirked. "Is there anything else incriminating that you would like to say?"

"No no no." Hound laughed, backing off slightly and waving his hands in front of him in defense. "Did you know that you lost a great brawl after that fight?"

Trailbreaker froze, his hand twitching again looking for a non-existent cube. "I heard." He said carefully, failing to suppress the memory of the morning after. "Sideswipe got thrown into the brig?"

"Yeah!" Hound said and leaned forwards. "And not without a protest. But when Ironhide showed up he realized he was in deep trouble so he came quietly."

"Hah! Takes the threat of violence to put some fear in that punk." Trailbreaker said as he faked a smirk. He wanted to ask Hound. He wanted to ask him if he had done it. If he had noticed someone following him after he retreated. If there was anything else noteworthy that happened in the party. But he couldn't. That would mean breaking the routine. It would mean bringing attention to himself.

And if Hound was the one, it would mean retaliation, would it be more of the same or some other kind of retaliation that he didn't want. Or maybe if someone would overhear, or Hound talking to others which included whomever that had attacked Trailbreaker. He didn't want to deviate from the routine. He wanted things as they had been, like they were in the past. He just wanted to feel normal again.

Which meant smiling, joking, cheering. Mingling with the others, pretending everything was okay while trying to avoid giving the wrong signal to anyone around him. He didn't want to be noticed for the wrong reasons. Apparently he already had.

Trailbreaker found himself in the impossible situation that he didn't know who attacked him. Nor could he ask because anyone he could ask could have done it to him. There was also the fact that he didn't know what happened. He simply couldn't remember anything. While it was probably soothing to think that he had simply never woken up, it seemed too improbable. And if he had been awake for it, who wasn't to say he had said yes, or enjoyed it.

Which meant that if he started asking around, or worse, started to accuse someone, it would come back to bite him. Or if who had interfaced with him was more popular. Trailbreaker knew he was a bit of a nobody in the Autobot army. He was even worse than that given his fuel inefficiency issues. He had gotten plenty of flak for it already and he knew that if it came to making his case with just words he would most likely end up on the losing side. Even if it would be someone like Sunstreaker.

Trailbreaker looked over the rec room, his eyes scanning the Autobots present, trying to catch someone looking at him and looking away, trying to find sly looks or maybe someone focusing on looking at everything but him. But nothing seemed out of the ordinary. No one was behaving differently, no one was being out of character.

The thought that someone had done this to him and was completely unfazed about it scared Trailbreaker. He stood up quickly as his own body, full of stress and tension, demanded some action.

"Are you okay?" Hound asked and Trailbreaker looked over to him, realizing what he had just done. He just smiled in return and turned slightly towards the entrance.

"I need to get my axles going." Trailbreaker said. "I doubt Ratchet is going to complain if I take a quick drive." He stood up and left without even listening to Hound's weak protests. Other than him no one seemed to notice him leaving.

Briefly Trailbreaker wondered which was worse. That he was taking up valuable resources just for being him, fuel inefficient because he could project forcefields at will, or if that nobody really cared about him one way or another. With the indifference that he was seeing, other than Hound but that was because they were talking together just before he left, he felt insignificant. No one seemed to notice him.

Then why would they even care what happened to him?

Once outside the ark, having passed few Autobots on the way and smiled to them as they smiled at him, Trailbreaker transformed. It wasn't a long drive. He knew of a post he could stay at and no one had really taken a second glance at it. He had gone there once with Spike and Sparkplug for something they called picnic. It had ample space for him to transform, and better yet, it was a bit isolated so no one could really see him unless they knew where he was.

It was an ample space to lie down, looking up at the bright blue sky and the yellow star this planet orbited around. Red technically, but in the atmosphere it became yellow. Intricacies that had fascinated Perceptor but only him. Cybertron didn't really have much of an atmosphere to speak of, certainly not enough to make the stars twinkle in the night.

Trailbreaker stayed there until he could see the first of those twinkling stars at the horizon. He recalled his first drive on this planet in the dark, wondering what was going around in this part of space that the stars were so active even though they were lightyears away. He had listened to Perceptor explain it, then gotten the shorter and much easier to understand version of said explanation.

It had been fascinating and almost mystical experience back then. He wanted those days back.


	3. Chapter 3

Trailbreaker wondered who exactly that was that said everything would get better. It had been few days and he was not seeing any end of it. No one else saw what he was seeing. No one had approached him any differently than from before, no one acted strangely towards him now. Everything was as it had always been, everything was normal.

Except he didn't feel normal.

The first recharge had been hellish. He had forgone his usual sleeping place in the storage room given what happened in there and gone to the communal sleeping racks. At least there would be no guarantee of privacy which was what Trailbreaker banked everything on. No one would dare to do anything in there.

But even with that reasoning it had taken him long time to fall into recharge. He had tossed and turned, much to Gear's chagrin. Trailbreaker had eventually moved to another berth in order to get away from his grumbling and griping that was not helping Trailbreaker any to get some shuteye.

He didn't want to draw attention. Thankfully he didn't wake up shivering or screaming. That was reserved for those coming out of stasis after being put back together after a horrible fight. Trailbreaker just had a regular and entirely forgettable recharges.

The days passed, and Trailbreaker had difficulty telling them apart. They just seemed to be more of the same where nothing was different but everything had still changed. From time to time he wondered why no one else was reacting to the shadows he was jumping at, until he realized that they didn't know. And most likely wouldn't care anyway. He didn't remember anything that happened, then why would it have to be a problem in the first place?

And since it wasn't really a problem, all Trailbreaker had to do was to convince himself of it. He kept talking with his friends, pretending nothing had happened because it really didn't. They didn't need to know either. He went on patrol without complaints, he sat down at the tables and played with the others or watched human drama with his friends and even tried to join Jazz in some impromptu dance competition. He had known there was no chance of him winning, but he didn't particularly care. It was still fun, despite everything. Hoist and Grapple cheering him on as he tried to copy Jazz' moves but with his own spin on it since he didn't quite have Jazz' flexibility.

One day, after a long patrol with the twins, they came to a rather unusual scene at the Ark. All the Autobots were huddled around some large screen, with Smokescreen waving at them and motioning them to come over. Trailbreaker saw how Bumblebee and Jazz were busy setting up some seats for the humans, along with snacks as well, while the Autobots were all just either standing or sitting up against the wall where they could still have a good view of the blank screen.

"What's going on Smokescreen?" Sideswipe asked.

"Sparkplug apparently managed to get a good print of some popular movies for us. Something called Star Wars." Smokescreen replied to Sideswipe and Sunstreaker as Trailbreaker scanned the room. Positively everyone was there. "Bumblebee has apparently seen one of them and is very excited to see the whole story. Optimus Prime agreed and let us set this up."

"Great to hear." Sideswipe smiled. "I'm going to get some energon and we'll join you." Trailbreaker, who had been listening while looking at everyone and doing a headcount, had been listening. Energon did sound good. His first stop after a patrol was usually at the energon dispenser to get some fuel back into him. He followed Sideswipe silently.

"So, you looking forwards to seeing those movies?" Sideswipe asked as they got to the dispenser, sidestepping away from it to let Trailbreaker have the first cube.

"I'm not sure." Trailbreaker shrugged. "I might see the first one before I get some recharge." He quickly worked the dispenser, letting that refreshing energon flow into a cube for him.

"With all those early recharges you're always missing out on a lot of things." Sideswipe grinned, moving in after Trailbreaker had filled his cube.

"Like the fight at the betting table?" Trailbreaker held his cube up and grinned at Sideswipe. He was relieved that Sideswipe had gotten into that fight. Given the timeline of events that happened that evening it was impossible for Sideswipe to have attacked Trailbreaker. Everyone knew that he had been at the table all the time, and he had only left it when he was escorted to the brig.

As sad as it was to think about it, Sideswipe was the only person Trailbreaker could really trust. Anyone else didn't have as good alibi for that night without Trailbreaker asking way too many questions and if he started asking he knew that he would be asked in turn and that was something he really didn't want.

"Yeah." Sideswipe looked away and smiled awkwardly. "But it ain't the first time I've woken up in the brig. Even after we landed here. Remember the celebration after we prevented that volcano eruption?"

"How could I forget?" Trailbreaker laughed. "You lost your jetpack privileges for a month with that stunt!"

"Would have been longer if the Seekers hadn't discovered I was 'flightless' and were taking every advantage of it." Sideswipe grinned. "But don't go about talking about it, Prowl likes to maintain the illusion he had it under control the whole time and letting me jetpack again at that time was his plan the whole time."

"Maybe that's what I have to do." Trailbreaker muttered to himself and took a sip of the energon.

"What was that?" Sideswipe asked as he took hold of the energon cubes for himself and Sunstreaker.

"Nothing." Trailbreaker said low and was relieved as Sideswipe walked away. Trailbreaker followed few steps behind. When they came to the viewing room Trailbreaker split off from Sideswipe and picked a far corner from the room. He saw the backs of everyone that was attending and no one saw his back, which was a small comfort for him. He sipped on his energon as the movie ran, following the plot to the best of his ability. But even with the energon he was getting tired. He tried to fight it without letting it show but it was a losing battle.

Finishing his energon cube, Trailbreaker stood up and put it aside. Just as he was about to leave he heard blaster fire. He turned around to see that the big bad of the movies had appeared out of nowhere and the heroes were not even trying to fight the losing battle after being betrayed by their friend. Trailbreaker suddenly lost all interest in seeing how this would end, and turned around and left with no regrets.

The problem is what would happen after. Trailbreaker thought about the dorms, but he had gotten few complaints about his tossing and turning and how it was keeping the other awake. He did understand their concerns, getting good recharge was vital for everyone and nobody liked being yanked out of recharge for no reason.

Trailbreaker didn't want to go back to the storage room he had been in. But there wasn't much choice to be had. Either annoy everyone, or risk it.

And with the thought that this time he could lock the doors, Trailbreaker set out. He knew of another storage room, less traveled one, less accessed, that he could get to. Small maybe, but still enough room to have a fitful recharge alone in peace. Trailbreaker went directly to it and went inside.

And locked after himself.

It took surprisingly short time to fall into the lull of recharge. He did wake up for a moment as he heard some yelling from the common room, apparently something very big happened in the movie, but the moment he dropped his head down he fell back into recharge.

Trailbreaker wasn't sure how much time had actually passed. But he woke up the moment he heard the doors unlock, and without any much thought he conjured up a small forcefield that launched out from him to the doors, to whomever that had entered the storage room. He heard a familiar voice yell in surprise and fall down flat because of the improvised projectile.

"Wheeljack?" Trailbreaker asked, worried as pit, suddenly afraid of what he had done. But he saw the scientist stand up, maybe unsteadily but still in one piece.

"You can pack a wallop!" Wheeljack said and his flares lit up as usual and he entered the storage room confidently. "I didn't realize you were in my personal storage room."

"Sorry." Trailbreaker looked down on the floor, still tired but knew that he had to keep it together to have a conversation. "I didn't realize you were still working."

"No need to apologize." Wheeljack said. "Even if you had been in recharge here it wouldn't have been that much of a problem, as long as you stayed out of this corner here." He pointed towards a pretty sparse corner of the room, but it had couple of well-protected canisters with clear warning labels on them.

"What's there?" Trailbreaker asked.

"I'm in contact with this German lad. He has heard of me and has some pretty interesting ideas." Wheeljack said. "Got some good fascination with Nitrogen. But then again, I imagine that if it were to go off you would just sleep through it like anything else."

"Like anything what?" Trailbreaker asked on reflex, tensing up and his mind racing, wondering if it had been the person that was now standing in front of him, the one that had done this to him.

"When you're usually sleeping in storage we don't even bother going quiet around you, you sleep through anything." Wheeljack said. "Well, not this time at least, I have to admit that I did not expect getting blasted out of the doors the moment I opened them."

"Even when it is your personal storage room?" Trailbreaker asked with a hint of a smile on his face. With Wheeljack either clueless about what had happened, or denying it by not saying anything, Trailbreaker relaxed ever so slightly. He couldn't press the issue, That would just mean inviting questions he did not want to answer.

"Okay, you got me there." Wheeljack chuckled and went over a box in the room and picked it up. "And don't worry, this is the only trip I'm planning to the storage tonight, so you can get your recharge in peace."

"Yeah, thanks." Trailbreaker said. He didn't sit down until after Wheeljack left the room and closed and locked the door behind him.

He didn't get any recharge as he cradled his face in his hands the entire night.


	4. Chapter 4

As the time went on, nothing seemed to get brighter. The days passed with barely any change in between them other than the occasional rumblings and hints that the Decepticons were doing something somewhere. Not even a fight with the insecticons at a large maple syrup farm was enough to rouse Trailbreaker from his monotone existence.

It wasn't until he overheard Red Alert grumbling about being told to leave an energon distillery alone for safety reasons. Energon refined into high grade was rare on this planet alone, so someone being able to set that up for long enough to get some high grade would have to be clever enough to get it past everyone else.

And Trailbreaker felt like a drink was probably what he needed to forget the last few weeks, even if it would be only for a night.

Trailbreaker went over to where he had seen Sideswipe last. It was very likely that he had set up that distillery. It wouldn't be the first time he did it. He walked into the rec room, only to see the flash of red heading out the other exit. He followed it, confirming that it was Sideswipe, who was walking briskly down the hall with a purpose.

"Hey Sideswipe?" Trailbreaker asked as he caught up to him.

"Busy right now." Sideswipe answered.

"Busy getting rid of the evidence before Wheeljack gives the all clear to dismantle your setup?" Trailbreaker asked.

That was enough for Sideswipe pause in his walk and look back at Trailbreaker. He looked at him for a second before looking at the hallway behind him, like he was expecting to see some backup with Trailbreaker.

"Okay Sides, how about this?" Trailbreaker smiled. "I help you save most of the viable stuff, and we share some of it after? I am pretty thirsty."

Sideswipe hesitated for a moment, then nodded. "Alright." He said. "And you won't tell a spark about it, deal?"

"I'll even help you find a location for the next distillery. Deal." Trailbreaker smirked and extended his hand. Sideswipe was quick to accept it, shook it couple of times before letting it go, turning around and continuing his trip to wherever he had hidden his distillery.

* * *

It was evening when Trailbreaker and Sideswipe had finally managed to smuggle a decent amount of high grade out. They had taken couple of trips out. Thankfully with Trailbreaker's carrying capacity it were only those two trips, especially as they had heard Wheeljack and Prowl approaching when they were peeling out with the stash on the second trip.

So now they were out under the open starry sky, sharing the fruit of what was mostly Sideswipe's labor. Trailbreaker lied down on the ground with his cube next to him, staring up at the sky. Right here they could see the stars and even the faint hint of the galaxy's disc spanning across the sky. Sideswipe however was looking down at the ark, or at least where it would be if he could see it in the darkness of the night. There was this faint hint of a light but not strong enough as the ark was mostly inside the mountain itself, and the entrance was dimly lit to prevent curious beings to investigate that strange light that was not supposed to be there.

"Again, thank you for the help." Sideswipe turned to look at Trailbreaker. "I would only have enough for just myself for this evening only were it just me hauling the stash out of there." He chuckled and took a sip.

"What a relief." Trailbreaker chuckled and took a sip as well, feeling that good buzz taking over him. "Then I wouldn't be here getting drunk with you."°

"Sounds like you really needed it." Sideswipe sat down next to Trailbreaker.

"Like you wouldn't believe." Trailbreaker muttered. Even if he was out in the open, kind of exposed, he felt okay. No one was really going to go up that bluff or even look up at it or down at it. And he was with the only person that he knew for certain that hadn't done anything to him. He took another sip. "Where's Sunstreaker?"

"He wasn't part of the distillery thing." Sideswipe said. "And he doesn't like drinking that much anyway. He's fine with doing it in moderation, but like we're doing right now -" Sideswipe chuckled as he reached for another cube, already having emptied his first or second one.

Trailbreaker was already halfway done with his third one.

They sat there in silence for a bit, looking at the darkness below them and the tiny pinpricks of lights above them. The moon wasn't out now, making it even darker than most nights.

"So, does the brass know anything about what the Decepticons might be planning?" Sideswipe asked then, apparently feeling the silence between them too uncomfortable while Trailbreaker had reveled in it.

"We know as much as you." Trailbreaker vented heavily. "No real sightings of them, no attacks, no anything useful."

Sideswipe took a sip of his high grade. "But I bet that this inactivity got the higher-ups all on pins and needles." Sideswipe chuckled. "You certainly look like it."

"Yeah, something like that." Trailbreaker said, picking his words as carefully as his slightly fogged processor allowed it.

"One thing I've noticed the past couple of weeks." Sideswipe said, swirling his cube a little bit. "You've been kinda hanging around me much more than usual. Any particular reason?" He asked.

Trailbreaker froze for a moment, but he hadn't detected any double-talk or deceit in Sideswipe, it was more like a genuine curiosity. Trailbreaker knew that he couldn't have expected Sideswipe not to pick it up, but he had hoped that he wouldn't, or at least wouldn't ask about it.

"I just realized that I enjoy your company much more than I thought I would." Trailbreaker said. "And now I discover you distill your own swill? And it doesn't taste rancid? Score!" He laughed as he held up his cube.

Sideswipe smiled and held up his own cube as well, inspecting the kaleidoscope patterns that swirled around in the purple-blue liquid. "What about your friends? Hoist and Hound and the others?"

Trailbreaker paused, wondering what to say. Could he really say that he didn't trust them anymore? That he was terrified of them, or in fact terrified of everyone else that he merely existed when around them but when around Sideswipe he could actually live?

"Something came up between us." He then said, hoping to go with half-truths in this case. Maybe that would be harder for Sideswipe to break down and analyze, especially since he was also enjoying the heavy buzz of the high grade.

"I hope you make up soon." Sideswipe said. "Is there anything I can do to help?" He asked.

"Just -" Trailbreaker's words stopped in his vocalizer, wondering what he could really say. "Just more of this. Quiet time, be it here or in the Ark, be it with or without high grade. And don't be putting any moves on me, I've had enough of that."

"Moves?" Sideswipe chuckled. "Eh, sorry, I didn't mean that you weren't -"

"Popular enough?" Trailbreaker forced a smile. "Apparently I am, I was surprised as well. Doesn't mean that I want the attention."

Sideswipe grunted. "I know what you mean. Sunstreaker and I get enough attention as is because we're twins."

"Been having trouble with the other crewmembers?" Trailbreaker asked. "And even then, what do you do?"

"Tell them to beat it." Sideswipe took a big swig out of his cube, nearly emptying it. "There are two types of bots. Those that want who you are, and those that want what you are."

"Don't I know it." Trailbreaker muttered.

"So, what is it that others want from you?" Sideswipe asked, asking as if it were a natural progression of the discussion, which it most likely was. But Trailbreaker didn't answer. Sideswipe didn't press the issue, he was preoccupied with the both real and imaginary patterns that the high grade made in the bottom of his cube as the stars shone through it.

"A target." Trailbreaker muttered then low as he looked up in the sky. Sideswipe didn't even stir, having not heard it.

* * *

The morning after Trailbreaker woke up in the communal berth space. He remembered stumbling there overcharged after disposing of the used cubes into recycling with Sideswipe. He felt fine, he felt okay. He had forgotten how good a heavy drink was, and how it made him relax in the right way. Not in the wrong way. He knew better than to try to put moves on Sideswipe or anyone.

But then his attention came back to what had woken him. It was a personal comm to him, a message from Prowl to come see him in an unscheduled meeting at his office. Trailbreaker quickly rose up, wondering if he had missed something last night while he had been out with Sideswipe. He keyed in acknowledgement of getting the message and headed over. The urgency flag behind the message trumped getting an energon cube, but with the amount of high grade Trailbreaker had last night he didn't mind it that much.

When he stepped into Prowl's office he simply stopped mid-stride. He had expected to see others there, maybe Ironhide or Jazz or someone. He did not expect to see Prowl there with just one other there, Sideswipe.

"What's this about?" Trailbreaker asked nervously as he looked at the meeting request, searching for the agenda which was intentionally left blank. Prowl never did that sort of thing.

"If you would come inside and close after you." Prowl said, but when Trailbreaker didn't move from the doorway he frowned ever so slightly. "It has to do with your changed behaviour in the past few weeks. My observations coupled with Sideswipe's comments -"

"It's nothing." Trailbreaker hissed. "Just a temporary thing. It won't get in the way of my work I assure you."

"Trailbreaker, I need to know what's going on, because if -"

"Prowl, this is a waste of time, and you know it." Trailbreaker turned around and left. He heard hurried pedes following him and turned around to see Sideswipe, looking far more worried than he had ever looked like.

"Trailbreaker, what's going on?"

"Like I said, nothing you need to worry about." Trailbreaker hissed and continued his walk, forcing Sideswipe to break into a jog to keep up with his long strides.

"But I am worried." He said. "I didn't realize until last night but you've been more serious around me, while around the others you're doing nothing but pretend that you're okay."

"Drop it." Trailbreaker said as he quickly broke off from his path to the rec room, knowing that he and Sideswipe would cause a scene in there in front of the others. His route led him to a less used corridor. But Sideswipe apparently took it as an invitation to follow and dig deeper with his words.

"I heard you last night, you know." Sideswipe said. "You said someone used you because you were a target. If I didn't misunderstand it then you got to tell someone. Even if it is just me, I'll make sure that they'll never have the chance to do something like that again. Who was it?"

Trailbreaker didn't answer, knowing what would happen when he did.

"Was it Prowl?" Sideswipe's tone became more serious as his mind was undoubtedly racing to figure out why Trailbreaker was hesitating. "Was it someone in command? Someone that you can't say no to?" There was even a hint of fear in his voice. Trailbreaker knew he should have felt touched by his concern, but he felt like a con artist for fooling Sideswipe into thinking that this was serious enough.

"I don't know." Trailbreaker muttered as he slowed down to a stop in the corridor, staring at the hallway ahead of him instead of turning to face Sideswipe. He couldn't face him, he just wanted him to stop and leave him alone.

"What did you say?" Sideswipe asked, coming to his side and looking up at him even though he couldn't make eye contact.

"I don't know." Trailbreaker looked up before he looked down at the red frontliner in front of him. "Whoever it was, he fragged me while I was in recharge. Happy?"

And there it was. Sideswipe's initial worry and the faint hint of willingness to revenge on Trailbreaker's behalf faded away as confusion replaced it, followed by disbelief and even a bit of faint rage, probably aimed more at Trailbreaker for making him think it was much worse than it actually was.

Sideswipe even backed away slightly as he spoke.

"Is that it?"


	5. Chapter 5

_Is that it?_

Those three words seemed to stab Trailbreaker right in the cortex, echoing over and over again. That, coupled with the aborted huff that would have been a chuckle, and how Sideswipe even began to relax, venting and his plating ceased to flare up. Sideswipe actually felt relieved.

Is. That. It?

Trailbreaker let the words repeat in his mind over and over again, tasting the bitter tone in every one of them as he watched Sideswipe. At least Sideswipe didn't smile, Trailbreaker was sure he would have punched him for that, or at least tried to.

"Yes, that is it." Trailbreaker said low, daring Sideswipe to take more joy in it like he was doing. He knew why he was relieved. If Sideswipe had been worried enough to call in Prowl he probably thought it was far more serious than it actually was. He knew he was being unfair, to even try to deny Sideswipe that relief or to punish him for having it.

And this was why he didn't want to involve anyone. Anyone could understand if someone got caught behind enemy lines. Anyone could understand if they were victims of a power-play, frustration, or sheer sociopathy. Anyone understood as long as there were dents and injuries. Anyone understood how mere words could be what was used to pin one down.

Trailbreaker was more frustrated at himself for overreacting. He didn't remember it, he wasn't injured. All he knew was that it happened and for some reason that was enough for him to blow up like this.

He didn't wait for an answer from Sideswipe. "There, mystery solved. I'll make sure not to burden you any more." He said as he walked away, only to see someone else already in the hallway watching them. There was no mistaking the profile of the outstretched doorwings and the professional expression of Prowl. Sideswipe flinched next to him, having also been caught unaware.

Prowl walked towards them, stopping few steps away from them as he looked up at Trailbreaker.

"You heard what I said sir?" Trailbreaker asked, going back to rank just to be sure.

"I did." Prowl said. "Would you come into my office please? We could talk about it a bit more and what our options are." He stepped to the side, extending a hand outwards to let Trailbreaker go out first.

"Are you sure sir?" Trailbreaker asked. "It's just that it isn't a problem, I'm still doing my duty."

"I would rather want to treat this as a serious matter." Prowl said. Trailbreaker didn't want to press the issue any further so he gave up and headed out towards Prowl's office. He heard Sideswipe also walking behind him until he was stopped by Prowl.

"I can help." Sideswipe said.

"We'll talk, later." Prowl said.

Trailbreaker didn't hear if Sideswipe had any protests as he walked away. He heard Prowl catching up to him and walk besides him as they headed to his office. They didn't pass many in the hallway, but those that they did pass didn't even pay them any attention, just the usual smiles.

Trailbreaker entered the office with Prowl, his nervousness growing as he realized he was for the first time in a confined space with another person that could easily overpower him.

"Trailbreaker, can you tell me what happened?" Prowl asked as he sat down at his desk. Trailbreaker sat down in one of the other chairs opposite to Prowl, not looking at him directly. He didn't want to see his gaze right now, it would either be that piercing interrogative one or the impassive one.

"Like I told Sideswipe, someone interfaced with me after I had gone to recharge." Trailbreaker said. "I don't remember anything of it. I just came out of recharge with fluids in my valve."

"Do you know if it is possible you were online for it? Whom did you talk to that evening?"

"Just the usual crew." Trailbreaker droned on, for the first time since it happened he was going over the events. He had always wanted to just forget it and get on with his life. "And I don't know. I just know I went to recharge in the main storage, then came back online in the morning, alone with sore valve."

"When did this happen?" Prowl asked.

"Around three weeks ago. The evening after we fought the Decepticons in Yosemite." Trailbreaker recounted. He didn't even realize it had been that short while ago, it felt a lot longer. No wonder he didn't feel any better, no time had really passed. He looked up to see Prowl looking at some schedule.

"You did go to the medbay the day after that fight. What did Ratchet say?" Prowl asked, apparently not having those records at hand right now, or Ratchet having not logged anything other than visitor logs.

"I just came there for a bit of a pick-me-up. I need some extra rations after every big fight and it's easiest to get it from Ratchet." Trailbreaker said.

"Any reason for why you didn't tell him what happened? Have him run a kit on you?"

Trailbreaker chuckled nervously as he recalled that day. "Tracks was there. He was in more dire straits than I was." He said. "He had been in a fight with Sideswipe that night and dislocated his wing and his leg or arm was also busted. Ratchet scanned me but found nothing off with me other than being low on energy."

"I wouldn't call it dire straits myself." Prowl said. "But you should have said something. If you actually didn't remember anything then we would have information on whom you had interfaced with that night, any transfluid is now long gone."

"Can't we just, you know, forget it?" Trailbreaker sighed. "Nothing else has happened since then."

"To you at least." Prowl said. "Since you don't remember it is for the best to figure out who your partner was that night, because then we can learn what happened exactly and why they did what they did." Prowl brought up a datapad and read over it. "You got a patrol in the city with Skids. I'll see if Red Alert can find something in the cameras or in the logs, after I've dealt with Sideswipe."

"Sideswipe didn't do it." Trailbreaker said quickly.

"How are you so convinced of that?" Prowl asked.

"He's the only one with a rock-solid alibi." Trailbreaker quickly interjected. "He was gambling, then got in a fight and then got thrown into a cell for the rest of the evening. There is no way he could have done anything."

Prowl was silent for a moment. "Yes, but his reaction to your confession wasn't good. I'll at least try to teach him some tact, for your sake, if you insist on hanging around him for your own mental stability. Dismissed"

Trailbreaker looked at Prowl, trying to mull over what he said during this short impromptu meeting. "Very well." Trailbreaker then finally said. He didn't feel like Prowl deserved any thanks even though he said he was going to deal with this. And Trailbreaker realized that even though Sideswipe had dismissed him he was still the only one Trailbreaker could really talk to.

Though it would be better to figure out how to stop being so closed off and actually talk to others instead of focusing on pretending everything was fine around them. But no one really wanted that. They knew Trailbreaker as the cheerleader of the group, the occasional overcharged idiot. There was little chance they would accept a broken and beaten Trailbreaker. Sideswipe had, but only to a degree. The moment Trailbreaker had opened himself to Sideswipe, Sideswipe had gone straight to Prowl.

If that was a good thing, only time would tell at the moment.

But for now, there was duty to do. He headed outside, enjoying the sunlight and fresh air until Skids finally came out to join him.

* * *

The patrol in the city had been uneventful. It was mostly to pick up both Decepticon signals to see if they were in the area, or human signals that indicated that they were planning something unfriendly towards the nearby Autobots. But neither had appeared, and since their mission was to stay in vehicle mode for most of it they had simply pretended to be one of the numerous automobiles that were driving the streets. Not even the local police picked up on their patterns and got suspicious. It wasn't until they were outside the ark that they transformed into robot mode.

"That was pretty boring outing today." Skids smiled as he trained his joints a bit after the long drive. Trailbreaker did as well, but it was more of an afterthought.

"Yeah." Trailbreaker said. "Though rolling over that new asphalt there was pretty interesting, never felt my tires get that hot before."

"Same." Skids chuckled. "Going in?" He asked as he walked towards the entrance but had noticed Trailbreaker standing there still.

"I think I'll stay outside for a while." Trailbreaker looked up at the Ark, feeling more dread from it than he had before. He didn't want to go inside and face Sideswipe again, or hear anything more from Prowl about that night of mistake or have to answer more questions. He transformed again and drove off.

He went up on the bluff where he had been with Sideswipe last night. He knew where they were stashing the remaining cubes of high grade up there but he knew better than to steal it from Sideswipe. He just made sure that the cubes were still there, before leaving them alone and sitting down on the ground, away from the edges of the bluff so no one would really see him unless they were high up in the air. While the Aerialbots could, along with Jetfire, they had rarely bothered him at all.

So it was a bit of a surprise when he heard a car engine half an hour later. He stood up and turned around to the source of the sound, seeing familiar red sports car on approach.

"Don't worry, I didn't touch your swill." Trailbreaker quickly raised his empty hands.

"Oh." Sideswipe said, transformed and looked towards where the high grade was, but didn't walk towards it. "I didn't even think about that. It's just that you didn't check in once the patrol was up." Sideswipe said.

"Did it through the radio, decided to take a breather here." Trailbreaker said. He saw how unsure Sideswipe looked, no smile on his face while his attention was solely focused on Trailbreaker. "I take it Prowl talked to you?"

"Yeah, though lecturing is probably more appropriate way to describe it." Sideswipe said. "I know now that I messed up there, and I'm sorry." He sighed. "You really don't know who did it to you?"

"No." Trailbreaker said. "Unless Prowl finds something out, only you are the one that I'm sure that **didn't** do it." He buried his face in his hand. "I'm sorry for exploding on you there. You calling Prowl, I didn't like to drag it out in the open like that."

"Someone did hurt you." Sideswipe said. "And there might be more that he's hurt as well, that there are more 'targets' out there." Sideswipe sighed as he walked towards the edge and looked down at the Ark. "Are you ready to head back? I don't think Prowl would be happy if either of us came back overcharged."

"Any chance we can just stay here for a while longer?" Trailbreaker asked.

"Not a problem." Sideswipe smiled.


	6. Chapter 6

Somehow the plan of leaving the high grade alone vanished after few minutes, both Trailbreaker and Sideswipe feeling a bit too uncomfortable in the silence and both wanting at least a reason for why both of them were not talking much. A cube each seemed like a reason enough, both of them taking small infrequent sips just to make it last longer.

But just entering the Ark filled Trailbreaker with some sort of dread that he couldn't place. Sideswipe, who had come in alongside him, seemed to either notice the same dread or how Trailbreaker reacted, and stepped closer to Trailbreaker. Trailbreaker noticed that Sideswipe appeared even more dreadful than he himself did.

Things were not adding up. But if it were only Prowl, whomever he would have told during his investigation, or -

"Sideswipe." Trailbreaker stopped, grabbing sideswipe by the arm and pulled him to a stop. He saw how awkwardly Sideswipe smiled, as if he had been caught pulling a prank with greater consequences he had anticipated.

"You told someone." Trailbreaker put two and two together and let Sideswipe go with a shove. If Sideswipe told someone then that meant they would have told someone. And on the Ark things rarely stayed secret, no matter whom you told.

"I didn't mean to." Sideswipe protested a bit too loudly for Trailbreaker's taste. "Smokescreen cornered me after you told me and he wouldn't stop asking what I did. But I didn't know how bad it was until Prowl told me and -"

"That's enough." Trailbreaker said. "At least you didn't tell Bumblebee, he would definitely go babbling to others, though I'm not so sure I'll settle for 'maybe'." Trailbreaker began walking towards the rec room again, not waiting for Sideswipe.

And as he entered he saw it. Too many eyes rested on him for a moment as he entered, and for too long. Smokescreen had babbled, but Trailbreaker didn't know what Sideswipe said and what Smokescreen had then said in turn. Humans even made a game out of something like this, called telephone after one of their communication devices.

"Or maybe Smokescreen is just as bad." Trailbreaker saw low to Sideswipe and they headed to the dispenser. After getting their energon cubes they found an empty table and were soon joined by Sunstreaker once all the attention on Trailbreaker dwindled.

And as Trailbreaker's entrance was soon forgotten, the volume of everyone conversing trickled up back to normal. And then it got disturbed again as Prowl entered the room, going directly to Trailbreaker's table. Sideswipe moved slightly to let him have enough space to sit but Prowl stood in front of the table, his posture clearly indicating that he was here for work.

"Trailbreaker, how are you?" Prowl asked, glancing around and caught few prying eyes that quickly adverted their gaze once caught by the former enforcer.

"Could be better." Trailbreaker confessed. "Got anything?"

And with that, Prowl's doorwings drooped slightly. Trailbreaker knew that after spending numerous meetings with him. While it was hard to catch to begin with, it meant that Prowl was admitting defeat.

"That bad?" Trailbreaker said low, now looking at his energon cube.

"I'm sorry." Prowl said. "We've not been focused on internal security, and this particular storage room has no cameras. Nor was there any way to figure out who walked by the storage room at that night. Red Alert composed a list of suspects, but since that room was part of my corridor patrol that night, and I was not on it, it is incomplete. All that we have is a disappointingly short list of those who definitely didn't do it."

"How disappointingly?" Trailbreaker looked back to Prowl.

"Four, and that's including me." Prowl answered. "Sideswipe and First Aid being the others."

Trailbreaker vented heavily, getting a bit of a concerned look from Sideswipe as he did. He saw how Prowl was still there, but a minute twitch of his legs seemed to indicate he was about to go.

"Is there anything else that I need to do?" Trailbreaker asked. "Like go to Ratchet or something?"

"I've already consulted him." Prowl said. "Any physical evidence would be long gone from your body by now, and your brain module only retains info about your recharge cycle for two days. Regrettably, we won't get anywhere unless the perpetrator turns himself in."

Trailbreaker vented heavily again and took a gulp out of his cube, mistaking it for the high grade he had earlier and was even more disappointed by the bland taste. "Just let me know if something changes." Trailbreaker said, and Prowl left.

Sunstreaker crossed his arms and leaned back. He looked insulted but Trailbreaker didn't really want to wonder why as he drank slowly from his cube, intent on making it last.

"I certainly didn't do it." Sunstreaker said.

"No one's accusing you." Sideswipe quickly answered, wanting to pacify his brother.

"I'm pretty sure I'm second on Prowl's list of Troublemakers, next to you." Sunstreaker quickly spat back. "And you're the one who got thrown in a cell that night, which leaves -" He barely moved his crossed arms to point at himself."

"I think you can relax." Trailbreaker said. "I'm pretty sure you got better standards than that." He nursed his drink, looking at it like it was a datapad from Prowl, dry and devoid of anything that could be said interesting. "I'm pretty sure everyone has higher standards than that." He muttered.

"Well, Ratchet decided to break out the good stuff since no one got actually dinged during the fight." Sideswipe smiled, trying to make things better for some reason. "I'm pretty sure that everyone had lower standards that night!"

Trailbreaker smiled and laughed. He didn't want to. He wanted to just go away. But what Sideswipe said was normal, it was what was generally said in this kind of situation. Everyone would understand why Sideswipe said it and no one would understand why Trailbreaker would punch Sideswipe, or at least try to, for saying it.

Things then fell into the same routine as always, at least for few minutes. Then he heard some loud laughter from the next table over.

"Imagine being that bad with your spike that you can't keep them awake." Mirage chuckled, not even tipping his cube by a micrometer as he leaned over the table.

"Nah, imagine being that bored." Tracks laughed.

Trailbreaker could see a hint of a smile on Sideswipe as he got the joke. Sunstreaker had it as well but even more subdued. So all he could do was to smile as well. Just take it and hope they will drop the issue before it became too much.

Even though he stared at his drink in between taking sips it did nothing to deafen the voices around him.

"Man, if it were me I would be asking for a second round." Tracks said loud enough for that section of the room to hear him.

"Don't bother." Mirage said. "How bad do you have to be that they won't wake up? Certainly not good enough to give them one."

And now Trailbreaker dropped the pretense that this was okay. He stopped smiling as he looked at his empty cube. That one had emptied fast and the stash on the bluff was calling. He saw the moment that Sideswipe started to pay attention, his expression going from playful ignorance to a worry for Trailbreaker and the realization what he had done.

Trailbreaker chose to ignore him as he turned around in his seat to stand up. But before he could a red minibot came to the table and sat down.

"It isn't right." Cliffjumper growled, pushing his near-full cube over to Trailbreaker. Given that Cliffjumper rarely talked to him at all he couldn't really do anything but to accept the offered cube.

"Making jokes like that." Cliffjumper continued. "That shouldn't happen. Guys like them don't know the real thing unless it happened to them."

"I'm not about to wish it on them." Trailbreaker said low. Having Cliffjumper show up at their table was already drawing some attention, and he was not in the mood to get even more prying eyes on them.

"I'm not saying that." Cliffjumper quickly defended himself. "I'm just saying that they don't know what happened, and convincing them is a tough job. One that might not even be worth doing."

"Something happen to you tough guy?" Sideswipe asked.

"No, happened to a friend of mine." Cliffjumper didn't even try to pull his usual tough-bot attitude on Sideswipe. "And now it happened to another one. Does Prowl have any leads?" 

"None whatsoever." Trailbreaker resisted the urge to stare into the cube again. Cliffjumper deserved more than that. "I was too much of a coward to act the moment I realized."

"Don't say that, don't ever say that." Cliffjumper quickly interjected, then leaned over to Trailbreaker. "Listen Trailbreaker, if you ever want to talk, or you ever want to just have a quiet time in a safe space, let me know."

"I will." Trailbreaker said and finally took a sip from the offered Cube. Maybe things would work out. Maybe Prowl would get a break in the case, maybe Trailbreaker would feel okay with sleeping with the doors unlocked.

If Cliffjumper turned out to be an ally of his, then anything could happen.


	7. Epilogue

"Thank you for meeting with me." Prowl said as he sat down in front of his desk, the other taking the chair opposite to it. "Wouldn't have wanted to cause a scene."

"Of course not." The mech answered. There was no smile and no softness. Prowl had told him why he had been asked to come with Prowl, and it looked like he was also aware of what could happen once Prowl would conclude his meeting.

"What can you tell me about that night?" Prowl asked. "I know it has been a while."

The mech vented as he looked aside. "Look. I can't deny interfacing with Trailbreaker." He said. "I thought everything was fine. But then again I was overcharged, everyone was overcharged with that good stuff."

"That Ratchet cracked open after the fight." Prowl finished that train of thought for him.

"Yeah. And it is far better than that swill you let Sideswipe and Trailbreaker cook when they think no one sees them." The mech answered.

He knew about the distillery Trailbreaker and Sideswipe had set up. He had let it slide because them bonding was what kept Trailbreaker stable during the first month after his confession, and trying to break them up, including dealing with their shared vice, would likely have ramifications which would have him lose his defense specialist for a while.

"So you were that overcharged you didn't notice Trailbreaker was unresponsive?" Prowl asked, diverting the topic. 

"I don't know." The mech said low as he leaned on the desk, his hands covering his face as it rested in them, his elbows keeping him upright. "I thought stuff was good. I thought everything was fine. I had fun why didn't he?"

"I don't know." Prowl said. "I'm worried about if I'll see someone else start jumping at the shadows and become withdrawn."

"No." The mech immediately answered and looked up at Prowl, anger in his optics. "That is not me. I am not some-" He grimaced but kept looking at Prowl. "I do not do these sorts of things. I never have to be so pathetic."

"So, what do you think happened that night?" Prowl asked.

"I don't know Prowl." The mech answered. "We were both overcharged. I am not a mean drunk, I am not some evil drunk." The mech vented heavily. "I don't know what kind of drunk Trailbreaker is. Well, after he's all happy and social."

"He certainly drinks in moderation now." Prowl said. "In fact he rarely lets himself be too overcharged."

"Probably afraid that it would happen again." The mech said. "It's possible that he just can't remember? I know there are cases of that happening when you have had too much."

"That is a possibility." Prowl answered. He had been entertaining that possibility several times as he thought about this case, even as looking for whom he had been with that night. Now that mech was in front of him, but answers were still short.

"It isn't my fault he didn't react well." The mech said. "That he thought the worst when he woke up, that he hasn't even thought of the other ways that night had gone."

Prowl opted not to answer. Trailbreaker's fondness for the drink was well known, though his moderation with it was less known. But as he used high grade to bond with Sideswipe, it cast a bit of a doubt of his view of what happened that night. Prowl could recall couple of incidents back on Cybertron, before the shortage, where overcharged Trailbreaker had engaged in some vandalism under the influence but unable to recall it when it came to the punishment detail. Blackout drunk. Trailbreaker's demeanor had changed as the war had changed, along with everyone else's.

"Prowl?" The mech asked cautiously after he realized Prowl wasn't answering right away. "I have to ask, but will you pursue this further? It would be kind of bad if you would take me out of the rotation for a while."

Prowl had been thinking about it. At first he had been determined to find Trailbreaker's 'partner' and get the fully story. But it was still maddingly full of holes. And Trailbreaker was recovering. He was back to normal. Digging this case up after several months would have the chance that Trailbreaker would be upset and be back to square one. And have it come out that an Autobot had assaulted one of their own, or was suspected to, would mean they would lose a lot of credibility with the humans, and upset the whole that made up the Autobots. They would recover, but it would take time.

"No." Prowl finally decided. "I won't. Don't talk to Trailbreaker about this, or anyone else." He stood up.

"I was never planning to." The mech said and stood up as Prowl did. Prowl simply indicated towards the door, and the mech left, leaving Prowl to write on his datapad, marking the investigation as no longer active, but without results.


End file.
